Reason to Celebrate

Going to college is the first step of the American dream: Get an education…Get a good job…Start a family…Buy a house. Well, I have three out of four, and when I get the degree, I'll have the them all. Truth be told, it’s a little after the fact. Why at this stage in my life have I decided to finish my degree? Well…

Top Four Reasons I'm Going Back to College:

1. To become a great writer

2. To be admitted to "the club"

3. To write a really big check

4. To throw a really fabulous party

To become a great writer.

I've always been a good writer, but I long to be a great writer – like Carrie Bradshaw.

Sex and the City was more than titillating cable programming; it was a glimpse into my dream career. Take away the nudity, the high fashion and the hustling city life, and what you're left with is a woman who writes a weekly column based on her daily experience and gets paid enough to buy Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos. She's a writer, she's well paid, well dressed and well heeled. I've come to realize that the only thing standing between me and Jimmy Choo could be my degree – or the lack thereof. I've always been a good writer, but if I take the time to concentrate on perfecting my craft and developing my style, nothing can stop me from becoming a great writer.

To be admitted to the club.
Everyone on my team is a college graduate, and to be an official member of the club, I need a college degree. Every once in a while the conversation will turn toward "where'd you go to school?" and I say "I never actually finished." There's usually an almost imperceptible raising of the eyebrow, an embarrassed, "Oh, well, you'd never know it…" and the sound of a mental note being filed. I'm tired of not being able to say, ‘yes I have my degree, here's my transcript.’

My husband is an Electrical Engineer. My brother in-law has a Bachelor of Science in Marketing, a Masters in Public Administration and a Master of Education. My brother – my baby brother – holds a PhD in English. Though I've never actually been denied admittance to the college graduate club, I won't be an official member, until I graduate.

To write a really, big check.
I was in the 11th grade when a student/recruiter from Howard University came to our class. He didn't need to say very much since I was already convinced that it was the school for me. I remember when I said to my parents, "I want to go to Howard." …and I remember when they replied "Howard costs a lot of money." Unfortunately, I dropped the idea of college, right then and there, and I went to work right after high school. Then came marriage, my daughter, my house, my son, my son…

Now years later, I'm excited again about college, but money is still tight. It's frustrating to have the drive and energy but not the money. This time I won't let that stop me, and I don't want money to stop other women like me.

After I graduate –I want to establish a scholarship fund for working mothers who want to go back to school but need a lift over the tuition hurdle. I want to be the fairy godmother who grants the wish for fees, tuition and books by wielding my magic wand and writing a really, big check.

Why am I going back to college? To Celebrate!
We are a party culture. We celebrate the milestones in our lives: birth, baptism, bar mitzvah, sweet sixteen, wedding, retirement – party, party, party. Taking the time to stop and revel in the splendor of your good fortune is what keeps the light alive in your heart. Throwing open our doors and inviting people in to share in the good fortune is what keeps the light alive in the hearts of others.

Going back to school and completing my degree would be a major milestone for me. To finally pursue writing with the skills only college can provide… To be able to hold my head up and say to the world, "I did it. I'm a college grad"… To share that good fortune with my friends, my family and the world by helping someone else get there, too? That's a milestone; that's a blessing; that's something that will keep the heart lights going – and that's a reason to celebrate.

By the way, my graduation is June 16, 2012  :-)

One Snowball at a Time

I sigh.  Alot.  As a direct result of being over analytical, I get frustrated or just plain stuck and I sigh.  While its true that between my family, my home and my job I don't often have time to think; however, given a moment of peace, a quiet lull or an hour under the dryer at the hairdresser -- my contemplative self take over and then... I sigh.

What do I think about that causes so much frustration?  Oh, a bit of everything. Providing for the family with limited means, having limited opportunities to spend quality time with my hubby, paying the bills, the overdue oil change, the missing shingles on the roof, my middle that jiggles, my job, my clients and so on, and so on.  Is it any wonder why I sigh all the time?  Its overwhelming to think of the mountain of responsibilities and the shortage of time and resources to address it all.

Its not that so much is wrong per se, but there's so much to do and none of it is simple.  Its a mountain of things to do that is my life and as such it begs the question:  What does it actually take to change your life?

A new look can be achieved by going shopping.  A new job can take care of maybe money, health insurance and provide a semblance of security.  Weeks of dieting or months or working out can change your body and your health... or a plastic surgeon can give you similar results with the added benefit of instant gratification.  Therein lies the problem.  I want it all and right now, please.

Maybe I watched too much I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched as a kid and I am applying the expectation that changing your life can come with a blink or a twitch and a really cheesy sound effect.  I should know better.

More than 10 years ago I quit smoking.  That was not easy.  Going in I knew that 16 years of smoking wouldn't go away instantly, and I would have to work at it, which I did.  I tried everything:  the gum (yuck), the patches and drinking lots of water (and then Entenmann's Rich Frosted Donuts, but that's another story).  Ultimately, it was the one cigarette, one day at a time approach that worked.  I had to fight each urge to smoke and decide not to - one at a time.

I guess that how I should approach changing my life - one bit at a time.  Concentrating on everything means concentrating on nothing - which has not been successful thus far.  I just spin my wheels and go nowhere.  Concentrate instead on one item and work at it a little everyday -- making the consistent effort to focus on one thing until its resolved before tackling the next.  Kind of like the debt snowball...

If you've never heard of it, the debt snowball method of paying off your debts requires that you pay down one credit card and when its paid off, you apply those funds to the next credit card and so on until the snowball wipes out all your debt.  The key is to start with the smallest bill first, the one that will encourage you to go on.

I suppose changing your life can follow the same principle:  start with the area that will yield the greatest result and let it encourage you to go on.  Then watch it snowball, one day at a time.